The Way I See It, #1

The way I see it, love is a choice.

At a different point in my life I subscribed to the notion of love as an irrevocable, external force—one which was beyond human control. Sounds exciting, doesn’t it? Most of society is somehow convinced of this at some point in our development: that when the time/person/universe was right, some mystical wave of emotion would sweep us off our feet and carry us off into the wonders of love. This is the metaphorical falling in love—it’s romantic, it’s fun, and it takes nearly zero effort on our part.

More recently, however, I’ve come to a few realizations which have caused me to reconsider my view of love and relationships. Primarily this refers to my new understanding of love as a personal, conscious choice. Think about it: it is much more meaningful to look at your current/future Significant Other, with all their flaws and shortcomings and habits and history, and to make a conscious decision that you still love them in spite of (or even because of) all of the aforementioned setbacks. This is the essence of loving willingly, rather than at the hands of some irreversible force akin to gravity. It is the act of choosing that empowers us to take control of life and stop waiting for it to take control of us.

Choose to love or choose not to love, but don’t you dare try to blame it on gravity.

That’s Amor-e!

So, it’s Valentine’s Day, more affectionately known as either Obligation Day (for those in relationships) or Singles Awareness Day (for those who are not). I’ve never really been one for Valentine’s Day; besides the fact that pink is my LEAST favorite color, I’ve never really had a reason for participating before. Remember back in Kindergarten and Elementary School, when everyone in the class would bring in tiny cartoon-character Valentines for everyone else and you’d finish the day with a stack of pink and red on your desk which contained the same amount of cards as everyone else’s pink-and-red stack? Yeah, why can’t we just go back to that tradition? I don’t know about you guys, but I genuinely liked reading through all those generic, written-by-someone-else’s-mother platonic love notes.

However, as we grow up, we all start to believe that Valentine’s Day has to be celebrated with one single, special person; that if there is no ‘significant other’ in our life on this holiday, we can only resign ourselves to either declaring how much we love being single, or engaging in a lot of lonely moping. In Kindergarten terms, we started counting how many cards we had. Who brainwashes us like this? I’m not sure, but I’d like to respectfully disagree with them. February 14th is not just a day for couples. Today is a day to show everyone important in your life how much you honestly love them–no strings attached, no obligations, just a whole lot of love and appreciation for family, friends, parents, grandparents, AND significant others if you are blessed with one.

So, in honor of this day of love, I would like to express my deep appreciation for my very small pool of readers, and offer a few writing pieces for your consideration. I’ve also never really been a fan of love poems, but sometimes they just happened to flow out of me and turned out pretty good (as opposed to cliche and mushy), so here goes nothing!

Cutting Cold

This night is cutting cold

and the magnets of our hands

reach,

               nudge,

and find each other in the dark.

You are my anchor

in this frozen sea of sky;

the tether to my kite-in-the-wind ways.

How could I ever drift away?

(c) 2013 Marie KR

Deep Water

Your heart rolls,

the steady rush and thrum

of open ocean,

and with your arms around me

I am lost in its steady swell.

You know I will not swim in the ocean

for fear of what I cannot see around me—

but in this deep water

I can close my eyes;

the only thing around me

is you.

(c) 2013 Marie KR

Elation

Forget butterflies—

you fill my chest with birds;

flurry of

            feathers and air and song

       which threatens to float me away.

When I see you

            (not as often as I’d like)

know that

if I laugh too often,

it is only for the many wings

tickling the insides of my ribs

(c) 2013 Marie KR

Romance is Overrated

Wouldn’t you agree?

Ahem, allow me to correct my statement: teen romance is overrated.

I stand strictly behind my opinion that teenagers (though there are some exceptions) say the word ‘love’ far too soon. When I finally have the opportunity to tell a significant other “I love you”, I want to be quite sure that I’m saying it to the person I will later marry. Call me old-fashioned, but as a writer I like all of my words to have significance.

Unfortunately, every day I watch young couples of my peers around me claiming love on the second date and breaking up a month later–face it, if you find it necessary to celebrate a one-week anniversary, it means your relationships have seldom lasted much longer than that. I still can’t decide if it’s depressing, disappointing, or demented.

Now, don’t get me wrong, it is nice when you notice a special individual who makes you feel all happy and silly and bubbly inside, and I won’t deny that I’ve had several aptly-named ‘crushes’ before, but isn’t it worth more to find one exceptional partner as opposed to a string of placeholders?

Think it over…

Eccentricity

In my dreams

I lay my palm against your chest

as if to capture

the arrhythmic beating of your heart

between my fingers.

The doctors call it a defect,

the mood swings of a

radical organ—

good thing I’m not a doctor.

I see your heart as a writer,

too fond of twist endings;

a painter dragging your

pulse

in erratic loops across the canvas.

There is something creative

inside of you

playing tricks and riddles,

making up the words

to a song as it sings.

So let it ramble on.

(c) 2012 Marie KR